Attachment and caregiving in families with parental learning disabilities

While safeguarding concerns remain central, these figures raise important questions about how parenting capacity is assessed and how parents are supported to develop skills in line with their children’s changing needs (Booth & Booth, 2004; Tarleton et al., 2006). The doctoral research Attachment and Caregiving in the Context of Parental Learning Disabilities explored this topic through a literature review and original research.

Attachment theory describes how children form emotional bonds with caregivers to feel safe, regulate emotions, and have their needs met. The research sought to understand caregiving within the broader contexts of parents’ life experiences, relationships, and social circumstances, highlighting the importance of a contextual and collaborative approach when working with these families.

Parenting within challenging contexts

Parents with learning disabilities navigate family life amidst complex factors, including poverty, unstable housing, limited support networks, discrimination, and their own childhood trauma (Booth & Booth, 1999; Collings & Llewellyn, 2012). Without considering these factors, systemic challenges may be misinterpreted as indicators of parenting risk.

Parents frequently report feeling judged or scrutinised by professionals and the public (Albert & Powell, 2022), which is often exacerbated by a presumption of incompetence (Franklin et al., 2022). These findings highlight the need for assessments that recognise structural inequalities, ableism, and the impact of life experiences on family functioning.

Insights from this research

The research involved holding caregiving interviews with four mothers with learning disabilities. The mothers interviewed had between two and nine children, ranging in age from one month to 16 years, with varied living arrangements. One mother’s interview was complemented by play-based attachment assessments with her three children, offering detailed insight into caregiving and family dynamics.

The following themes were identified from the mothers’ experiences:

1.    Endangered childhoods and corrective parenting intentions 

All mothers experienced traumatic childhoods involving neglect, abuse, or abandonment. They were motivated to provide their children with safety, love, and stability, breaking intergenerational patterns of trauma. 

2.    Vulnerabilities in adult relationships

Most mothers had experienced domestic abuse or coercive control, influencing how they managed conflict and their children’s behaviour. Some acted protectively by leaving harmful relationships to safeguard themselves and their children. 

3.    Parenting under surveillance and judgement

Mothers felt closely scrutinised by professionals and others, which influenced their presentation and sometimes led to performative behaviour, limiting open discussion of challenges. 

4.    Idealising children and minimising difficulties

Several mothers downplayed struggles and presented idealised accounts of their children and relationships, often reflecting anxiety about judgement. 

5.    Difficulties with reflection

While mothers met practical caregiving needs, they often struggled to mentalise about children’s emotions or development. Reflections were sometimes superficial or borrowed from social norms and professional guidance. 

6.    Focus on practical caregiving

Parenting was often described in task-focused terms, emphasising feeding, routines, and physical traits, with less attention to relational or emotional aspects.

Case study from one of the interviews

One mother’s interview, combined with play-based attachment assessments of her three children, highlighted patterns within her caregiving and wider family relationships.

This example is drawn from specialist attachment-based assessments conducted and analysed by suitably qualified clinicians with accredited attachment training who had completed reliability testing for the coding and interpretation of the respective assessments. It is not intended to suggest that practitioners should informally assess or classify children’s attachment behaviours, but rather to illustrate how attachment-informed formulations may help contextualise caregiving dynamics and children’s adaptive behaviours within families.

The mother described a childhood marked by neglect, abuse, instability, and lack of protective caregiving, alongside later experiences of domestic abuse in adulthood. These experiences contributed to feelings of overwhelm in her parenting role and a tendency to withdraw when stressed. Her current caregiving was understood to be shaped by trauma-related coping strategies that likely affect her capacity to provide consistent emotional containment and boundaries, potentially influencing how her children respond emotionally. Despite these challenges, she demonstrated strong protective intentions toward her children, actively seeks support, and shows resilience and commitment to improving her parenting.

Within their play-based attachment assessments, her children demonstrated strong protective behaviours toward their mother, with elder siblings often taking on supervisory roles within the family. The children also showed cautiousness around unfamiliar people, concerns about separation and family stability, and behaviours oriented toward maintaining closeness and stability within the family system. Overall, the children’s behaviours appeared organised around supporting a vulnerable mother rather than responding to a threatening or dangerous caregiver.

When understood in context, the siblings’ assessments reflected adaptive efforts to care for their mother and each other amid ongoing stress and professional involvement. Consistent with contemporary attachment research, the relevance of this example lies less in categorising children’s attachment patterns and more in understanding and formulating caregiving behaviours, parental caregiving capacity, and children’s adaptive responses.

What this means for professionals

The findings from this research, combined with current guidance from the Working Together with Parents Network, highlight several key considerations for professionals working with families where parents have learning disabilities.

Consider the wider context of parenting

Parenting assessments need to consider the broader social realities affecting families. Experiences of trauma, domestic abuse, social disadvantage, and systemic discrimination significantly shape caregiving patterns. Without this context, behaviours such as anxiety, defensiveness, or withdrawal may be misinterpreted as indicators of parenting risk rather than understandable responses to life circumstances.

Use direct observation alongside discussion

Parents may struggle to describe their children’s emotional experiences in interviews. Direct observation of parent-child interactions can provide valuable insight into warmth, responsiveness, and commitment, helping professionals gain a fuller picture of caregiving.

Ensure assessments are accessible, robust, and timely

Assessments should include reasonable adjustments such as visual prompts, clear language, repetition, and advocacy support to help parents participate meaningfully. 

As emphasised by the Working Together with Parents Network, early assessment is essential because parents with learning disabilities often require additional time and tailored support to develop and embed new skills to understand processes and what is being asked from them.

Rushed, delayed, or superficial assessments risk missing opportunities to support families effectively. Parenting assessments should therefore be robust and evidence-based whilst:

• Accurately identifying need. 
• Upholding the rights of both parents and children. 
• Providing timely access to appropriate support. 

This approach enables parents to understand professional concerns, strengthen their parenting, and respond effectively. Where safeguarding concerns exist, professionals should consider whether parents have needs under the Care Act 2014, which may entitle them to ongoing support to meet their parenting responsibilities.

Strengthen joint working between services

Effective collaboration between Children’s and Adult’s Services is crucial. Many challenges faced by parents with learning disabilities relate to unmet adult support needs, including housing, mental health support, or protection from domestic abuse. Coordinated support across services can enhance parenting capacity, facilitate high-quality assessments, and create opportunities for families to remain safely together. 

A recently published research briefing outlines essential elements of join working across adult and children’s services.

Further guidance and practical examples from the Working Together with Parents Network can be found on sharing practice and good practice guidance pages to support joint working between Children’s and Adult’s Services and promote effective, context-sensitive assessments.

Moving forward

This research highlights the need for more inclusive and context-sensitive approaches to understanding child-caregiver relationships and supporting caregiving in families where parents have learning disabilities.

By recognising the broader social realities these families face, professionals can move towards parenting assessments that are both safeguarding-focused and fair. Strengthening joint working across services, adapting assessment processes, and centring parents lived experiences can help ensure that decisions about children’s welfare are proportionate, evidence-informed, and supportive of family stability wherever possible.

In line with contemporary attachment-informed practice, practitioners should not informally assess or categorise children’s attachment patterns without appropriate training and accreditation. Instead, the emphasis should be on understanding caregiving relationships through careful observation of interactions, caregiver responsiveness, children’s behaviours, and the wider family context. 

Event: Attachment and caregiving in families with parental learning disabilities

Join an open access webinar for the Working Together with Parents Network that will explore findings from doctoral research on parenting capacity and attachment in the context of parents with a learning disability.

We will discuss the implications for practice and the need for more inclusive and context-sensitive approaches to understanding attachment and caregiving in families where parents have learning disabilities.

Find out more

Author

Dr Layla Harding is a Clinical Psychologist and completed her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Royal Holloway University. She has experience working in CAMHS services and family social care, and holds a Masters degree in Attachment Studies from the University of Roehampton.

References

• Albert, S. M., & Powell, R. M. (2022). Ableism in the child welfare system: Findings from a qualitative study. Social Work Research, 46(2), 141-152. https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/svac005
• Booth, T., & Booth, W. (1999). Parents Together: action research and advocacy support for parents with learning difficulties. Health & Social Care in the Community, 7(6), 464–474. https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1365-2524.1999.00214.x
• Booth, T., & Booth, W. (2004). Findings from a court study of care proceedings involving parents with intellectual disabilities. Journal of Policy and Practice in Intellectual Disabilities, 1(3–4), 179-81. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-1130.2004.04032.x
• Collings, S., & Llewellyn, G. (2012). Children of parents with intellectual disability: Facing poor outcomes or faring okay? Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disability, 37(1), 65–82. https://doi.org/10.3109/13668250.2011.648610
• Emerson, E., Llewellyn, G., Hatton, C., Hindmarsh, G., Robertson, J., Man, W. Y. N., & Baines, S. (2015). The health of parents with and without intellectual impairment in the UK. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 59(12), 1142-1154. https://doi.org/10.1111/jir.12218 
• Franklin, L., Theodore, K., Foulds, D., Cooper, M., Mallaghan, L., Wilshaw, P., Colborne, A., Flower, E., Dickinson, D., & Lee, J. N. Y. (2022). “They don't think I can cope, because I have got a learning disability...”: Experiences of stigma in the lives of parents with learning disabilities. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 35(4), 935-947. https://doi.org/10.1111/jar.12934
• Tarleton, B. (2008). Specialist advocacy services for parents with learning disabilities involved in child protection proceedings. British Journal of Learning Disabilities, 36(2), 134-139. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468‐3156.2007.00479.x
• Tarleton B., Ward L., & Howarth J. (2006). Finding the right support. A review of issues and positive practice in supporting parents with learning difficulties and their children. London, Baring Foundation.