Strategies for facilitators

To help parent programme facilitators deliver sessions more effectively, in a supportive way for participants, and to ensure the aims of the programmes are met, we've put together nine strategies. Following these guidelines can support facilitators to develop skills to reduce the number of difficult scenarios arising within sessions or to know how to better handle them when they do arise.

1. Boundary setting and clear group agreements 
2. Active listening and validation 
3. Emotional containment 
4. Conflict de-escalation 
5. Group energy management 
6. Inclusive participation 
7. Managing resistance & challenging attitudes 
8. Safeguarding & support pathways 
9. Facilitator self-reflection & regulation 

Boundary setting and clear group agreements 

Why this matters 

Clear boundaries create emotional safety, fairness, and structure. They reduce conflict and anxiety and help parents feel secure. 

How to do it well 

 At the first session: 

• Co-create group agreements (some starter points, take other suggestions form the group): 
  • Respectful listening 
  • One person speaks at a time 
  • Confidentiality 
  • Non-judgmental approach 
  • Right to pass 

 Language to use: 

 “Let’s agree together how we want this group to feel.” 

During sessions (at the beginning of each session if required), use a gentle reminder: 

 “Let’s return to our group agreements here.” 

Common mistakes 

• Being too vague 
• Avoiding boundary setting to “keep people happy” 
• Only enforcing rules when problems arise 

Skill building tip 

 Practice warm firmness: kind tone and clear limits.  

Active listening and validation 

Why this matters 

Parents feel heard, respected, and understood, which reduces defensiveness and resistance.    

Core skills 

 Use reflective statements: 

 “It sounds like you’re feeling exhausted.” 

“You’ve been trying really hard.” 

 Validate emotions without agreeing with behaviour: 

 “That sounds really frustrating.” 

Not: “Yes, your child is impossible.” 

Helpful techniques 

• Open body language 
• Eye contact 
• Nodding 
• Summarising key points 

Common mistakes 

• Jumping too quickly into problem-solving 
• Minimising emotions 
• Giving advice too early 

Emotional containment (holding big feelings safely) 

Why this matters 

Strong emotions can overwhelm groups if not safely contained. 

 How facilitators contain emotions 

 Acknowledge: 

 “This sounds really painful.” 

Slow the moment: 

 “Let’s take a breath together.” 

Contain: 

 “Let’s hold this safely here for now.” 

Redirect if needed: 

 “This feels important - let’s continue this after the session.” 

What this prevents 

Emotional flooding 

• Group discomfort 
• Session derailment 

Common mistakes 

• Shutting emotion down 
• Letting one disclosure dominate 
• Becoming emotionally overwhelmed yourself 

Conflict de-escalation & managing tension 

Why this matters 

Conflict in groups can quickly escalate and damage trust if not handled well. 

Early warning signs 

• Raised voices 
• Defensive language 
• Crossed arms 
• Interruptions 

De-escalation techniques 

Pause the interaction: 

“Let’s pause for a moment.”  

Normalise differences: 

 “Different families use different approaches.” 

Refocus on shared goals: 

 “We all want our children to feel safe and supported.” 

Ground the group: 

 “Let’s all take a breath together.” 

Common mistakes 

• Taking sides 
• Avoiding conflict 
• Allowing escalation 

Group energy management 

Why this matters 

Low or high energy affects engagement, learning, and behaviour. 

Low energy strategies 

• Pair discussions 
• Movement breaks 
• Interactive activities 
• Energising questions 

High energy strategies 

• Calming breathing 
• Slower pace 
• Grounding exercises 
• Clear structure 

Skill building tip 

Continuously scan the room: 

How does the group feel right now? 

Inclusive participation (engaging all parents) 

Why this matters 

Every parent deserves space, voice, and respect, including quieter participants. 

Techniques 

• Small group work 
• Pair discussions 
• Written reflection 
• Round-robin sharing 
• “No pressure” invitations  

Language: 

“Would you like to share - it’s okay to pass.” 

Common mistakes 

• Only engaging confident speakers 
• Mistaking silence for disengagement 

Managing resistance & challenging attitudes 

Why this matters 

Resistance often reflects fear, exhaustion, or past failure, not unwillingness. 

Helpful responses 

Validate: 

“It sounds like things have been really tough.” 

Explore: 

“What made it difficult?” 

Collaborate: 

“How could we adapt this together?” 

Avoid 

• Arguing 
• Convincing 
• Correcting 

Safeguarding & support pathways 

Why this matters 

Parents may disclose high distress, domestic difficulties, or mental health struggles. 

Good practice 

• Know referral routes (Safeguarding is everyone's business) 
• Have support contacts ready 
• Follow organisational safeguarding policy 
• Arrange follow-up when needed 

Facilitator self-reflection & regulation 

Why this matters 

Facilitators set the emotional tone of the group. 

Self-check questions 

• Am I calm? 
• Am I present? 
• Am I reacting or responding? 

Regulation tools 

• Slow breathing 
• Grounding 
• Pausing before responding (count to 10 in your head) 

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