'The Double Rainbow': My intersectional identity as an autistic and gay man

To be honest, until recently, I’ve been extremely reluctant to share about my identity as a member of the LGBT+ community. 

Writing this blog and sharing my identity in a public space would not have been imaginable – even just a few years ago. Growing up, over many years I have navigated often conflicting and complicated emotions around how I identify in terms of my sexuality. For example, feeling shame, guilt, fear around the added stigma and discrimination I would potentially face in my life, and anxiety over how I would be judged and perceived by my loved ones, family, friends, colleagues and others more widely. There is also the fact that I am an autistic person who, from the day I was born, has faced a variety of challenges connected to my disability, especially growing up as a young person, and therefore managing the varied additional needs that comes with that has been my focus in life. 

From being non-verbal during my childhood with many speech and language challenges, to today as an adult achieving full time employment and being an autistic speaker, writer and advocate, I know what it’s like to go through a journey of developing yourself and recognising your own identity. Growing up it took me a long time to come to terms with just my autistic and disabled self and therefore has been even longer to realise my LGBT+ identity. I first 'came out' to my parents four years ago – this was of course far later than the average non-disabled person largely due to my delayed development milestones, emotional processing and challenges with communicating and expressing myself more openly. I am extremely fortunate to have parents and friends who are supportive of my sexuality, especially as many others do not have this support network in their lives. I continue to regret not talking openly about this at an earlier stage and I wish I had more confidence and self-esteem to have done this sooner. 

Now, after several years doing public speaking and advocating for autistic and disabled people, I feel it’s the right time to be more open about being part of the LGBT+ community – not just my own identity personally as a gay man, but also my intersectional identity as being both autistic and LGBT+. Studies show that autistic people are far more likely to identify as LGBT+, not heterosexual and not cisgender, compared with the general population. Some research suggests that sexuality and gender identity are more varied in autistic people. Being LGBT+ and autistic are two identities that co-exist, and being autistic does not change any LGBT+ identity. The autistic spectrum and the LGBT+ spectrum both use rainbow imagery, for example in the gay pride flag and the rainbow infinity symbol for neurodiversity acceptance. This represents what has recently become known as the 'double rainbow' spectrum. 

With the many social challenges as an autistic person, navigating all kinds of friendships and relationships is extremely difficult and often made more complicated by, for example, having difficulties interpreting neurotypical cues and nuances. It’s my ambition in the future to have a happy romantic relationship and to eventually get married to a loving husband. The road to achieving this I’m sure will bring an array of complex challenges – but autistic and disabled people deserve to be loved for who they are just like anyone else. Love is universal. 

I’m very fortunate to have the brilliant support from the LGBT+ Staff Network here at NCB – this is a supportive and safe space for colleagues that has helped me a lot to be part of a community and feel more confident about myself. Thank you to the network co-chairs and members for all your kindness and support and creating a space where we feel welcomed in the workplace.